this week

i have my bachelorette party!
i see caitlin and bailey!
i see paul!
james and i finally ended our long distance!
i live in slo again!
i get to wear my dress!
i get MARRIED!
woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
maybe after this i will be a good house wife and blog all the time about my cute crafty home and yummy dinners.

maybe not.

mind vacay.

hello again my old friend! yes it has been too long, but oh well. i was in hawaii last week which was wonderful. it was full of sunscreen, noses full of salty water, walks on the beach with james, bad tv with matthew, discovering matthew snores like NO OTHER, missing paul, my hair turning into a monstrosity, various fruity alcoholic drinks [cause i can drink them now!], bare feet, and tan skin.

then i came back and was bombarded with stress at realizing how much i have to do [moms are great at reality checks, which is not so great]. my mind was def on vacay along with my body, and now i have a really long list of things to do. when i get stressed, my mind likes to bow out and ignore everything i have to do, which i know is not necessarily healthy. but i am feeling okay about everything now, and i am just reminding myself how much i have to look forward to with this wedding.

1. for starters, i get to keep james!!! he is my best friend and i am really and truly looking forward to grocery shopping, bickering over tv channels [oh wait, i think you need a tv to do that], decorating our house, chatting as we fall asleep, and just getting to call him my husband.

2. also, what other time in my life will all the people i love come together only for the purpose of celebrating me?? maybe my funeral, but that's lame since i won't get to actually be there... but i suppose i will have better things to do then [hey hey jesus!!!] so that's okay.

3. my dress [which, as i tell james, is a hot pink, turtleneck mini dress]!

4. cupcakes!

5. dancing!

6. my family!

7. burritos!

8. getting to share my and james' love for jesus and each other with everyone!

9. honeymoon!

and of course lots of others, but this is just to help convince myself we are better off doing this than eloping to some exotic, romantic foreign country. i usually convince myself of it when i am not stressed. but in the end, i know all i will remember is getting to share in such a special day with all the people i love, and that's all it is about. i know all that stress will melt away the second i see james' smile as i walk down the aisle.

updates.

i ran two miles today without walking!!! i am sure there are plenty of superathletes [my own mother included] who would not count that as a big deal, but for me, it totally is and gets me one step closer to running the 5k on monday. so yeah, i am pretty dang proud of myself.

i see james thursday! then we will drive up to breanna's wedding. i am so excited to see james for four days straight, celebrate luke and breanna, and dance all night!

i am now a master at skip to my lou on the guitar. i take what i can get.

that's it for now... taco tuesday!!!!

home away from home.

i have come to the realization that slo has become my home. four years later, and i have transitioned.

i am at my parent's house for the summer. i love them, i love spending time with my family, but i miss slo.

i miss walking downtown for calzones at farmer's market. i miss the horses outside my window at work. i miss high street deli and the colorful coffee shops on every corner. i miss hearing gilmore girls in the living room and the laughs and screams of emily and lauren. i miss dropping by on a whim to see caitlin and bailey, and strolling arm in arm with them to get yogurt or look at books. and i miss the comfort of knowing james is always somewhere within ten minutes of me, just in case.

i know this seems dramatic, and i will be back in two months. it's just hard being away from the place you have come to love as home. everything is different here. not in a bad way. it just is.

but i am done complaining now and completely ready to embrace all this summer has to offer me. for me, this summer means: running with my mom, planning my wedding, skyping with james, visits to the library [since i am poor and have no money to buy books], guitar/banjo lessons with matthew, learning stick shift from my dad, visiting my grandparents, and getting involved in the young adults group at church.

it also hopefully means i will be blogging a lot more.

[ps. credit to james for the title. he was proud of it.]

if love was a game you'd never play nice.

when i was in kindergarten, i was introduced to a tortuous ritual i had never heard of before: picture day. my mom and i practiced smiling for the entire month before that fateful day. every time i passed a mirror, i paused to give the mirror my best happy smile.

on the day of, i put on my frilly easter dress, had my mom do my hair in a bun that made it look like i had no hair [i already looked too girly in my dress], and marched into the classroom as my mom called, "smile pretty!" after me. i was all set for the best kindergarten pictures ever.

when i got into the room with the photographer, i sat on the stool and got all ready to flash my winning smile. for some reason, the photographer felt the need to say, "look sad". i understand the irony now, but did he seriously think a kindergartner would find humor in this? i am by nature a people-pleaser [my best and worst quality]. kindergarten laura was horrified to have everything she had been taught for the past month be completely contradicted in one fell swoop. i did not want to blatantly disobey the photographer, but i also did not want to disappoint my mommy, or look ridiculous and sad for my picture, so i settled for nothing. i didn't smile and i didn't look sad. i blankly stared at the camera. yes. full-on deer in the headlights status. it was a very traumatic moment in my young life, but now my family and i just laugh every time we unpack the christmas ornaments to find the clay star with my infamous picture glued to it surrounded by glitter.

all this to say that i have found a new song to be obsessed with, and it reminds me of this [hopefully endearing] story.

debbie?

feel sorry for me yet? ;)

okay i was just in a debbie downer mood the other day.

i do have so much to do, but i think after tomorrow at 7 i feel feel much better, with my final done and summer in my hands.

i really have no reason to complain.

school is looking up, my family will be here tomorrow, and i have the summer to plan my wedding to the man of my dreams. i think i have just had a lot on my mind, but i need to just turn my attitude around.

i am so blessed, and this past weekend, i had my first bridal shower! it was thrown by the amazing caitlin and bailey. they really outdid themselves, and if i didn't know they liked me before, i definitely know now! i'll do another more detailed post on it later, but it was so wonderful, and i felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

so my apologies for being a stick in the mud lately, and i will be back soon to share some more upbeat details of my life.

to thankfulness!

haitus?

yes i have been gone.

i just feel you don't need me updating every time i have a freak out about how much i have to do.

so maybe later i will be back.