bang.

so last night was an extremely interesting one for our house. emily and i were in bed at 11, and we were both drifting off to sleep when someone started pounding on our door. and it got louder and harder and scarier and didn't stop for probably 5 minutes. we called the police, and the lady on the phone told us the police had just gotten there. so then we went out to the living room to see what the heck was happening and we saw a guy standing on our doorstep, and then we saw the police arrest him. after he had left, we went outside and a policeman told us he was extremely drunk and causing a huge scene, so then they chased after him and he ran to our house, apparently banging on the door in hopes that we would let him in and hide him from the police. luckily, our parents taught us well.

so after this incident, i was lying in bed trying to fall asleep [it wasn't working, how do you sleep after something like that?], and i just started thinking that that was the only time i had ever had to be semi afraid for my safety. i really believe God gave me a peace about the situation, and both emily and i kept level heads the whole time he was banging on our door, but i had never before thought that someone might actually be trying to hurt me.

this made me think of the millions of children in the world that do not have the same guarantee as i have had my whole life. the children that don't want to close their eyes to sleep because they are afraid of what they might find when they open them again. while this was a very mild incident, and both emily and i are totally fine [except for being momentarily freaked out], it was very eye opening for how some children live their whole lives. i feel like this has even further proved to me that God is calling me to work with disadvantaged children.

needless to say, we will be checking numerous times to make sure our front door is locked every night from now on.

various thoughts from the first week of summer.

i love first graders. maybe not at first, but by the end of the week they had all stolen my heart. that doesn't mean i want to teach them, though.

mud doesn't get off shirts very easily.

golden spoon is the best frozen yogurt. it's a proven fact.

god is lavaproof [something my first grader, hayden informed me of].

i am the shortest person in my family.

tomorrow i am going to a wedding and i get to see steph, caitlin, and bailey, as well as wear a dress and my new wedges. yay.

espanol.

remind me again why exactly i thought i liked spanish??? this paper is going to be the death of me. cinco paginas. me voy a morir. i am currently sitting in the uu trying desperately to convince myself that i need to just buckle down and finish it. i am also listening to a song by colbie callait and juanes, half in spanish. that counts for something, right?

weekend goodness.

1. painting mugs and bowls at red hot pottery for date night.
2. family dinner at my aunt's.
3. church.
4. worship night on the parking structure.
5. a clean room and clothes.
6. dinner with old friends.
7. hiking bishop's peak.
8. cookies,ice cream and chatting with my girls.
9. sleep.

grace.

this topic has been on my mind a lot lately. i have a necklace that says "grace" on it, but i didn't even really take time to think about how prevalent this grace is in my life, and how i should be so much more liberal in my use of grace with the people around me. here is an honest snippet of what i wrote in my journal the other day:

the other day it hit me that i have been wearing a necklace that says "grace" on it, and i hadn't even really taken time to think about its meaning. i have always known i am called to extend grace to others, but when when i had the opportunity to extend grace to someone, i didn't take it. i just wanted to pout instead.

another aspect of this is the grace that God extends to us humans, to me. I am the farthest person from deserving the grace He has given me. i procrastinate, waste time, gossip, lie, envy, lust, don't put my full trust in God, and i am selfish. yet somehow God sees something in me that He loves, that He wants with Him for eternity! i will never be able to even begin to comprehend that.

God's love for me is irrational. ration would tell anyone to give up on me, i'm not worth it. but He tells me that i am worth it. i am worth dying for. i am worth spending eternity with Christ because He makes me worth it!!

ahh God is so good! that was just something i have been reflecting on lately. i still have a long way to go on the grace thing, but it is so comforting to know that God's grace is enough for all the times i fail.

it's not pretty.

finals week is coming. and it's evident in the state of my desk, my floor, and my hair (ponytails all the way, baby).

this is where it gets ugly. but God sees it all. and the truth is, he wants it all. He wants everything about me. my messy room, my procrastination, my doubts. all of it.

so i'll let Him have it all. He can handle it.

i like sun.

mmmm. i take that back. i LOVE sun.