2011 in review.

this is what happened in my life this year:

i started out january feeling extremely stressed about school and had lost a lot of weight, i finally told james and my parents about it, i started caring about school again and doing much better, i saw a therapist, my stress lowered, i enjoyed time with caitlin and bailey, we wondered when james was going to propose, i fell asleep every night above emily, we wondered when dan was going to propose, he finally emailed me asking me to take pictures of their proposal, i had an excruciating 4 days not telling emily this huge secret, i got to watch two of my dear friends get engaged and it was magical, james and i celebrated v-day with chipotle and cold stone, my brothers visited, i started gaining weight and getting healthy again, i was doing everything in my power to not think about weddings, my brothers turned 17 and 19, it was spring break, i stayed in slo for my golden birthday, i turned 22 on the 22nd of march, i went to dinner with james, micah, caitlin, and james' family for my birthday, i went home for the second half of spring break, james came with me, we had fun in newbury park, we drove back to slo, james wanted to stop in pismo, he proposed and i said yes! we told everyone, james started work full time, i went back to school, we started planning, i found my wedding dress, we decided to have a short engagement and get married in august [best decision ever], my friends and i contemplated all the change that was happening, we hung out with my parents in santa barbara for my mom's birthday, school was out, i had a lot of wedding things to do, i moved back home, i trained for a 5k with my mom, james and i road tripped to yosemite for luke and breanna's wedding, i got to be a bridesmaid, we had so much fun dancing the night away, my family and james and i then drove up to hume to see paul for a little bit, we drove home, it was 4th of july, we ran the 5k, i did it in 34 minutes and almost threw up on a guy's shoes, i was proud, my mom won 3rd place in her age group and a watermelon, james, ellen, my family and i celebrated the 4th at bethany, my mom and i continued planning, ellen helped a lot, we got addicted to the bachelorette and expedition impossible, i enjoyed being with my family, i had a lot of dress fittings, i worked out a lot with my mom in classes at the ymca and actually enjoyed it, my dad tore a ligament in his foot bike riding, we wondered if he would be able to walk me down the aisle, i went to cayucous for my bachelorette party, it was fun, i stayed in slo the week before the wedding, i enjoyed time with caitlin and bailey before they left for scotland, i couldn't iron the dang table runners, i picked up my dress, we had the rehearsal dinner, i loved being with so many close friends and family, my friends and i ate smores, talked, and sat by the fire at my aunt's house, i tried to sleep, i woke up and threw up, all my bridesmaids came over, we prayed, we sang in the car, we helped my awesome wedding coordinator [steph] set up, we got ready, i got married to my best friend, we had the best day ever, we ate, danced, and had fun with our friends and family, we went to our honeymoon, we had a hot air balloon ride, we relaxed in carmel and santa cruz, we went back to slo and work, we got the house set up, my dad had foot surgery, we got to hang out with mike, jo anne, and the twins, i enjoyed my classes, i told myself if i didn't ditch i would buy myself raybans, we visited family, we had 3 trick-or-treaters, my brother moved home from hume, our good friends jonathan and cassie got engaged and we got to be there, we had thanksgiving with james' family and it was great, i had dead week and james was gone for work, paul came to visit and it was nice, james came back and i had to study, i had 2 job interviews, i kind of got hired at a preschool, i finished finals, i definitely got hired at the preschool, stephanie came to visit, i cleaned the house, a bunch of family came for my graduation, the ceremony was boring, we went to dinner, it was great, a bunch of my family went to church with me, i was home cleaning, i read hunger games, we went to my grandparents' for tamale day, i christmas shopped like nobody's business, james and i enjoyed being married and figuring it out, i visited with my mom in santa barbara, we went to the tuccillo's for a few days and celebrated christmas eve with them, we went to my parents' that night and celebrated christmas day with my family, i got my raybans and tickets to see wicked, i was grateful, we drove back to slo, i took the train to see caitlin and bailey in oakdale, we had a wonderful time, i came home, james was glad i was back, and now we are celebrating new year's at home just relaxing since it's been so crazy lately.

2011, you were CRAZY but absolutely wonderful. God has shown Himself to me so much this year and i am more aware than ever of how undeserving i am of His love. whatever 2012 has in store for us, we will continue to trust God and i know He will take care of us. Happy New Year!

grad.

well, i finally did it. i graduated from cal poly. i entered as an insecure 18-year-old crying in the plaza because i was absolutely sure i would never make any friends. i exited as a slightly more confident, independent person. i am now married, have my own household, and know how to walk in heels. i have experienced friendship on a deeper level than i could have imagined and i am learning how to not run from the things that scare me. most importantly, i have learned that i truly am nothing without Christ. i could never have gotten through without my Heavenly Father guiding me and assuring me this was His plan for me. i skated my way through high school and thought i could do the same for college. this was not the case. cal poly has made me cry, given me more sleepless nights, and that feeling of dread in my chest more than anything else in my life. it was one of the hardest things i have done, and i never want to take that for granted. more than anything, college is about hard work rather than being smart. i consider myself fairly smart, but the hardest part for me was just convincing myself to move forward; to start that paper NOW instead of the night before it's due; to be okay with missing out on this or that in order to do well on that test.

graduation was so good. my parents, brothers, grandparents, in-laws, and uncle came to the ceremony, which meant a lot since it was so boring, but i will say it felt good to wear that cap and gown. the best part was my graduation dinner at uppercrust, where my other aunt, cousins, and uncle came as well. it meant so much to have all these family members who have not just supported me now, but all the way through. i was overwhelmed at first with how many people we had to worry about, but when i saw all of them there for me, i could feel nothing but extremely blessed. i have done nothing to deserve so many amazing people in my life, yet God continues to bless me. that is something i will never understand.

i would never have even started college without my parents. they have always known my potential and given their absolute best to me, even when i have not given them my best. and i know that God gave me james at the absolute perfect timing, only one of the reasons being that i probably would never have finished college without him. he somehow saw through my anxiety and procrastination and always pushed me because he knew i could do better. but after all the blood, sweat, and tears [mostly tears], it was totally God who got me through.

standing up there on the stage in my gown, i felt 4 and half years of stress lift off of my shoulders. i know being a grown-up brings a whole new set of challenges, but i feel ready to face whatever comes with james. sorry for making this super long, but i wanted to write this all down and look back on it one day, and never forget all the people that got me to where i am, because i never could have gotten here without them. thank you Jesus.

done.

on the day i finished college:

• james and i had to get up early to take my car into get serviced.
• i dropped james off at work then took his truck to the preschool, where i observed circle time.
• i then went to school, got a starbucks water [the best water there is], and went to the library to finish a reflection paper, email it to the teacher, and study.
• i went to my final and felt pretty good about it!
• i got out a very happy college grad!
• i had to go on a hunt for grad tickets bc everyone and there mother wants to go to my graduation [literally]
• i visited aunt karen and had a piece of cake from her office.
• i then went to target to celebrate, got another starbucks water and a personal pizza, and then shopped for christmas wrapping paper, dinner stuff, and a yummy smelling christmas candle.

i am now at home cleaning, since i haven't cleaned since before finals week and making dinner, which i also haven't done in a while.

the worst is over and i feel so relieved to finally be done with college!! now i can think about fun things and we can get our christmas tree on sunday!

the one where i don't want to study.

i only have to have a good attitude about school for 4 more days. gracias a dios. in the meantime, i am going to make a list of everything i want to do after i finish my finals:

1. finish my yarn wreath/learn how to make felt rosettes.
2. visit with stephanie!
3. go on a nice date with james.
4. see breaking dawn [again...] at the drive-in with olivia.
5. find a cute holiday dress.
6. get a christmas tree/decorations.
7. finish christmas shopping.
8. clean out all the boxes i have yet to unpack from under the bed/next to the couch.
9. work at the preschool [i kind of got a job there!!!]!
10. save up/ plan for italy [fall of 2012??]!
11. learn how to cook/bake better/ be a better housewife in general.
12. join a gym.
13. visit caitlin and bailey in oakdale!!!!!
14. finally join pinterest.

okay i think that's it. all of these things sound infintely more wonderful than studying/writing papers which is what i have to do now. but, in four days, i will be free. FREEEEEEE.