the bruington building coincidence.

okay.

let me start first with the fact that my mother's father [my grandpa] was a contractor and he built a building about 3.2 minutes from my house. whenever i drive by it, it makes me a little happy. he died when i was 14, and i never knew him very well. when i look back, i don't miss him, but i do wish i had more opportunities to know him. i'm such a different person than i was 7 years ago and i wish he could see that. anyway, i enjoy driving by his building, it makes me feel somehow connected to him, which i know is weird, but oh well.

now.

on sunday james and i were rear ended by a lady who was driving and zoning out. she didn't even try to brake, leaving james' bumper looking like the sagging pants of all the boys who were in 7th grade with me. why that was ever a popular look is beyond me. anyway, i feel really awful for the lady, who was working all morning at the diner, so she was exhausted. the accident has left me with an ever-constant headache. loud noises and even a slight breeze that could jostle me suck. also, my back hurts worse than it usually does. i guess this is good because now james is forcing me to go the chiropractor, which i frankly should have done a long time ago.

but we looked up chiropractors here, and lo and behold, guess where the chiropractor i am going to is?? yup! my grandpa's building. awesome. okay, it's silly. but i don't care, i am excited. i am also really excited to go to the chiropractor, i feel like it will really help my back and hopefully take away the pain i've been having since high school.

okay, this was long and probably pointless, but i am glad to get to go into the building my grandpa designed and to get my janky back fixed.

now back to listening to christmas music [quietly].

in the midst.

right now, i am thankful

my family got along this week.

for hugs.

the accident james and i got in was not as bad as it could have been.

for advil.

for my roommates.

we learned to turn the heater on in our house.

for grape juice.

for quilts.

for good conversations.

for human interaction.

for grace.

for jesus.

after 7 tonight...

i will eat dinner and hang with james.

wed i will wake up too early and open at work 7-12.

then i will go home and pack.

at 12:45 MY BROTHERS will arrive on the train and we will have lunch and drive up to castro valley and laugh and bond and be siblings.

then we will see my parents and aunt and uncle and cousins and hug.

on thursday my other aunt and uncle, cousins, and grandparents will arrive and we will have yummy thanksgiving times.

on friday we will go to san fran and then sat i will drive back to slo, then it will be dead week and finals and then it will be break!

i just have to make it til 7 tonight.

blah.

something.

today was a normal day. and yet somehow, it was one of the best days i have had in a while. lately i have not had a good attitude about my life. it's been hard for me to notice good things, or to even be happy about them. i don't know why, but i have definitely been going through a funk.

but today, i went to work. it was good and busy and nice to talk to my boss. i went home and ate and listened to music and edited a paper for james. it was relaxing. i made dinner with james and we laughed about nothing. i had a second dinner with my friend michelle and i enjoyed getting to know her better.

all these activities were normal but the Lord is starting to give me joy in them. i used to have this, but i somehow lost it. i know that there are so many wonderful things i have happening in my life, but it is just hard to see it sometimes.

here's to a step in the right direction.

my house is an igloo.

why am i soo freakin cold ALL the time??

my hands are frozen and i can barey type. i am in sweatpants and a sweatshirt wrapped in a blanket with uggs and thick socks on my feet and there is a beanie on my head.

and i am getting hypothermia.

okay, not really.

but seriously. never make me move somewhere that is not california. i thought i wanted to get away to the east coast maybe but i simply can't. i would die before it even started snowing.

i am such a baby.

observations from the weekend.

harry potter was awesome. it was everything i had hoped it would be. i am so glad that they are making two movies out of the last book. they included everything important, and the movie stayed extremely true to the book. it left me excited for the last movie, but satisfied with what i had seen. can't wait for july!

couples who are super pda in coffee shops [and everywhere else] make me uncomfortable. they are awkward and inconsiderate of other people. they make me feel like a third wheel even though i have a boyfriend and usually i do not even know these extremely affectionate people or come into direct contact with them. if i ever become one of these people, you have my permission to smack me.

school is not something i enjoy, but i just need to stay focused on the goal and what i want out of this. i want to be a teacher. i am so going to enjoy decorating my classroom, collaborating with others who love kids as well, and getting to know my students and helping them succeed. that is what i need to keep in mind as i am feeling stressed and discouraged with all my work that can sometimes feel overwhelming. i am doing this for a reason, so i can become the person God wants me to be and fulfill his plans for my life.

for now, i am warm and sitting by a fire writing a paper. my brothers are coming on wednesday to drive to my cousins' house for thanksgiving. i will get to eat mashed potatoes and bread rolls, visit with my grandparents, and hug my mom. these are the things that are keeping me going.

solitude.

something i have been realizing lately is that solitude does not have to mean loneliness. i am definitely someone who enjoys being around people. if i am alone for too long i begin to think that everyone is out having fun without me and laughing about how weird i am and that i do not shave my legs often enough [you know what i mean].

but lately i have been learning that it is okay for me to stay home and clean my room, run errands, and do homework by myself. i do not always need to surround myself with people and activity. i think i often do things just to stay busy or feel like i am doing something.

so today, i am going to rest. i am going to ask the Lord to help me be intentional in the time i spend with people and by myself. and then i am going to see harry tonight :)

SO EXCITED.

harry comes out in theaters today!!!!!

and it will be epic. granted the movies could NEVER measure up to the epicness that is the harry potter book series but they are the last thing we have of harry to cling on to so i will take it. it is so wonderful to walk into the theater and know that this movie will definitely be worth paying $11 for. anyone who has not read the books will not understand the hype and that is okay. i don't mind being a nerd. i love all things harry [and ron, hermione, dobby, sirius, bellatrix, etc.]. i just can't get enough.

i'm not seeing the movie til saturday but i can probably wait one day. STOKED!

yay.

what a wonderful, relaxing, happy, glorious day.

up.

as a way of forcing myself to realize that my life is not a complete disaster, here is a list of wonderful things happening in my life:

1. a thoughtful care package from my aunt.

2. a roadtrip with my brothers next week from slo to the bay area.

3. some roomie bonding time last week.

4. a wonderful date last saturday with james.

5. a letter from my grandma.

6. learning more about God's sovereignty in Bible study tonight.

7. a new fuscia water bottle.

8. being silly on friday with steph and bre.

9. HARRY POTTER 7 COMES OUT THIS WEEK!!

i have so much to be thankful for, sometimes i just need to look for it.

one year.

one year ago, i got all dressed up to go on a date with this really cute guy. his name was james. we'd gone on a few dates and i really liked him. i liked that he played guitar. i liked his blue eyes. i liked that he was sweet and funny and respectful. little did i know, that was just the beginning. he rang my doorbell and gave me flowers. then he took me to olive garden, because i love it even though it's a little cheesy. then he took me mini golfing because he wanted to see me get competitive. after that, we went to pismo and he pushed me on the swing as we talked about God, our families, and anything else that came to our minds. then, that cute boy sat on the swing next to me and got really shy and mumbled some wonderful nice things and then asked me to be his girlfriend.

i said yes and that was one of the best decisions i have ever made.

just for fun.

maybe this will make up for my lack of pictures lately.

1. fb profile pic:


2. you a year ago:


3. someone you love:


4.photo that makes you happy:


5. you making a funny face:


6. you and your best friend [yes i cheated]:


7. most recent photo:


8. photo you took:


9. photo that makes you laugh [this was for a photo project sophmore year]:


the end.

fuscia tights

so lately i have felt like not too much is going right in my life. i've felt stressed out and, as most people around me this past week can vouch for, i've been a beezy. i've tried and tried to give my stress up to the Lord, but i just felt like it wasn't working. maybe God just had too many other people to deal with. maybe my problems were too big. maybe i was stupid. well the last one might be true, but the other night i realized that if we are not honest with the Lord, how can he fix what we don't tell him about? so i basically verbal vomited and spewed out everything i was worrying about to the Lord. and guess what??? it felt like a huge weight lifted off my chest. obviously things don't get fixed right away, but i feel like the Lord really helped me give all my problems to him, and he has helped me trust in him with everything. life will always be stressful, but i know He will help me get through it even when it feels like everything is falling apart [ps. i have a slight tendency to be dramatic sometimes...].

so i guess that is what has been on my mind lately, and i promise to write more this week!

also: the title has nothing to do with anything, except that they are my favorite item of clothing and i am currently wearing them even though james insists they are too "loud".

blah.

this week has been uneventful yet i somehow have been feeling generally crappy.

so hopefully next week i will have more motivation to write.